The Debut: Raise the Curtains

It's about 4:19 a.m. and for some reason, I woke up from a semi decent sleep and am now staring at a computer screen, tea in hand, "jimmy Eat World" in the ears and a cigerette  on my mind. In about two hours I will be "waking" up for work, which is at Home Depot..pushing carts. It even sounds pathetic just saying it to myself. I mean, don't get me wrong, I work hard and they notice it and I have tried moving inside, but as of yet, I'm still outside pushing the carts. It wouldn't be too bad except for the fact that it is about middle of winter. Yeah, that makes for a great time. But don't get me wrong. I'm not too bitter about it all, because no matter how bad things get, it's bound to get better eventually, right? Surprisingly enough, I'm tired, yet still more alert and focused then I would imagine for the hour. I think the music and lack of sleep helps, as weird as it sounds. Like a trigger in your mind, when pushed too far just works overtime. There's so many things on my mind right now. Of course the struggling economy and it's effect on all of us being a heavy thought in my aching head. I need more tea. But to just look around you, especially at this time of year when everything is supposed to be magical, and just see everyone, not a few or some, but everyone hurting money wise and then of course thinking about your own needs. "How am I going to be able to pay for rent this month?" or "Where am i going to get the money for gas?" I think it helps though to just keep a smile somewhere though. Even if it's deep inside. Obviously it wont pay the rent but it can surely make things a lot less stressful. 4:34 a.m. It's bound to get better eventually. Or at least I hope so. But one thing this all teaches us, to be thankful for what we have. Even if you hate, be thankful you have a job. If you barely have enough money to pay the bills, be thankful that you have that much. If times are hard, be thankful that you always will have family and friends. Well, I think I've said enough in this category and honestly, I just want to get another cup of tea, go outside for a quick smoke, curse myself for not breaking that habit yet, and go back to bed for..1 more hour or so. And then it's up, out and all over again...but at least I have it....